remember two things, 1) people don’t understand and never will what you are going through unless they have been there themselves 2) you are in the phase of your healing where you want and need answers to why and how this happened to you, it is a very normal response considering whats been done to you but there are many questions you have that you are not ever going to get a logical answer to. what happened to you was not logical and borders more like insanity, so your best solution is to understand what a sociopath is and try to accept the false reality of what your life was, don’t ever let it happen again, and in time you will start to let go. other people who know some of the real truths are not going to tell you for fear it could cause more damage to you plus people just do that for some reason I don’t understand. as far as the trust and lies you are forever changed now in that area but you will come to a place where you open your heart a bit your just way more careful who you open it to. you need more time to process everything that has happened to you and to heal. it will come to you when it is supposed to you cant hurry it along.