you know whats worse than being alone? being with an abuser. you are reacting like a victim, (no offense intended it is a normal response for what your going through) you have been brainwashed to think you actually deserve this treatment. so not true. hurt is not love. these men dont love you. try to see this for what it is. abuse. learn about this so you can get out of the abusive relationship and begin to have a good life. there is no future in these types of relationships. the sooner you understand this the sooner you will be set free.