love this, so true….
I grieved today for the times I have loved so much that I forgot about myself and my own needs. I grieved today for giving so much and forgetting that I should keep a little bit back just for me. I grieved today for getting so caught up in helping others that I overlooked I needed a little help as well. I grieved today for thinking I could just do it all, denying that I also have my limits. And sometimes having limitations is a holy thing. I just wanna love people in a way that makes me feel loved too. I don’t want to forget myself anymore. — S.C. Lourie
Don’t seek revenge on your ex sociopath the odds are it will blow up in your face and you will lose. if you have done your research you will find most back this up. you may think you can argue and win with a sociopath but you cant. they are master manipulators who don’t think they are doing anything wrong. their brains are wired differently and they will not let you have the last word. if your seeking revenge be ready to be hurt and destroyed more by them. the solution is to walk away and try to heal yourself and make a new life for just you. your not going to win so don’t bother….
Does it ever get better? seems to be the one question we all ask at some point in all this. usually when the pain is so bad we don’t think we can take any more. remember this, through pain is growth, without it we would never change and to change is exactly what we need. the best way to get well from a relationship with someone with ASPD is to educate yourself on the disorder and learn about the forms of manipulation and abuse. the more you know the better you will understand what has happened to you and why you feel as bad as you do. read everything you can get your hands on. you also need some kind of support with others and or a therapist who specializes in personality disorders, be careful if they dont they can cause you even more damage. any therapist who tells you to get over it is not going to be a good fit. walk away and find another one your paying for this service make sure you get your moneys worth. many of us have made it with just using support groups like this. you need validation and to know your not losing your mind like so many of us have felt we are. the most important thing i think you can learn to help yourself is to learn about and build boundaries. most of us empaths let other people treat us like crap and that has to stop. make a list of what treatment from ANYONE you will no longer accept and put that into action. let NO ONE cross those lines you put up ever again. by doing this you will change your life and the people you allow in it from now on. this is so important that you do this and follow through with the boundaries you put up for yourself. you will gain self respect and self love by doing this action. read daily affirmations that are positive and stay no contact as much as you possibly can if you dont have children with them then you shouldnt be communicating with them , not if you want to get well. if you do have to see them because of your kids keep conversations limited to only regarding your children , they dont need to know whats going on in your life keep it impersonal. by doing thse things your life will get better and the pain will subside but you must be pro active in your healing it wont just happen by itself so the sooner you get to work the sooner you will feel better. don’t get me wrong sounds easy but its very hard work and no one can do it for you you must walk this path by yourself. i wish you all love, light and healing.
when you feel like giving up, when life keeps throwing shit at you,,, don’t give up. that is when you are changing and growing into the new person you are going to become. through pain is when we grow so remember that when life is kicking your ass, don’t give up before the miracle happens !!! because it will happen !!!
why we go no contact ( that includes looking at his ( her) facebook or other account profiles…..the longer you go without seeing anything or information about what they are doing the better you will begin to heal. minutes turn into hours hours turn into days and days turn into weeks then months. the longer you go the better you start to feel. that second you decide to peak or send them a nasty msg, it sends you reeling backwards to the pain you felt that first day of no contact. i know i did it. i wish i could learn the lesson for all of you but i cant you’ll either do it or you wont. pay attention to how bad it makes you feel when you do, you just have to start over from the very beginning. and that really sucks. #starting over……getting them away from you is the best gift of freedom you can give yourself….