if you are new to sociopathic abuse recovery or still going through intense pain, just know you are right where your supposed to be. recovery from narcissistic or sociopathic abuse is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. is it normal to be so depressed and suicidal? yes it is !! you are going to want to just die for awhile, this is a normal response just do not act on it, it will pass in time. if it gets so bad that you feel you may act on it please go to the ER and explain… what your going through, they probably wont understand the narcissist part but they do understand depression. just know that like everything else bad this does go away. also don’t just lie there being depressed and letting your thoughts run wild. use this time to go ahead and lie in bed, take your laptop with you and start researching sociopathy. put new info into your brain that is going to help you heal. this part of recovery is the beginning, yes you have a long ways to go but your on the right path if you do this. give yourself permission to grieve. also be good to yourself. eat something don’t stave yourself, go for a little walk if you can this will help you feel better. just take care of you, you are now learning that you matter and no one but you can take care of yourself, someone else is not responsible for your happiness you are. your on a journey to find yourself now, know that. just know this even though you feel so alone in this world your not. there are 4,000 + members in this group, usually a couple hundred active at the time, you are not alone !!! we do care and will help you walk the path. I want you to envision that tunnel with a light at the very end this is where your at now. how quickly you get to the other side is up to you. you must do the work so start reading. just know this much , we all have been where you are and felt that same intense pain, we walked through it. you cant go around it you must feel it and walk straight through your pain that is how you will heal, we have been here and know how you feel that’s why we do what we do and try to give back and help those on this journey. we did it so will you. don’t give up and know that how you feel is normal for what you are going through.