If you go back and everything is the same don’t beat yourself up. Realize he (she) will never change. You will always get the same from a sociopath or narcissist. They do not just change for the better its a trick. Don’t waste your time sitting there doing nothing, taking someone’s shit, be done. Move. Do what ever you have to do to get away from them. The sooner you start to heal the sooner your life will change for the better. But stop beating the shit out of yourself, they have done enough of that to you don’t do it to yourself to.