If you are unhappy with your life, make different choices. The choices you are making now will set the stage for your life. Do not let fear overcome you its a wasted emotion and will cause you anxiety. Be brave make the choice to better your life and your future.
Take the time to educate yourself, process what happened, otherwise you risk not healing, continuing to be traumatized, and having it happen again. narcissistic ABUSE will continue into your next relationship if you don’t heal yourself for good.
change comes when we have been devastated to the point your life feels over, all hope is lost and the betrayal is too much to wrap your mind around it. when someone infiltrates your life and is hell bent on destroying you, you are forced into healing, well some, many choose to run to another relationship and the abuse will always be there and continue, but if you are here your being given a new lease on life, all you have to do is the work to heal. you have been chosen. the universe put you here to learn, you are not a mistake you have a purpose in this world we all do. you may be thinking why you, its simple the universe is not done with you, it wants you to grow and change and be the best, happiest person you can be. don’t let abuse define who you are, let healing do that.
i want you all to understand something especially if you are new to healing. it usually takes time and education to realize and get this but im going to plant the seed in your brain.
Empaths are natural targets for narcissists/sociopaths, they are drawn to each other because they know how to read you and they pretend to be everything you ever wanted so they put on their mask. you are an object to them like a toaster you are there to meet their needs only. they use you for what they can get. when you start to notice their games and say something they will start searching for new supply they know the gig is up. the discard , devalue stage begins. they have to destroy you before they go and blame you for the demise of the relationship. empaths believe this and internalize the abuse blaming themselves. the sociopath just won. this is not about who you are as a person, except that you need strong boundaries, but it is no reflection on you. they get off on hurting people, it makes them feel powerful. you really need to understand that they are the sick ones not you. they lie and they cheat and they steal so why would you believe anything they say? usually because they have destroyed your self esteem along the way. we allow them to do this to us. DONT. they USE people they do not LOVE them. its all a game to them choose not to play and dont believe a word that comes out of their lying mouths. THIS REALLY WAS NOT ABOUT YOU, YOU WERE JUST ANOTHER VICTIM TO THEM. DONT GET SAD GET MAD!!! if i could do anything i would make it so you truly understood this. you have to come to terms with this fact to move forward or youll keep getting stuck. they do not love they use people, period and for no other reason than they can. dont let them.
All of you who are still blaming yourselves for getting involved with a sociopath or narcissist need to stop. these people have personality disorders their goal in life is to destroy people, so why on earth are you all blaming yourselves?? you didnt do anything wrong, all your guilty of is loving the wrong person. these people fool Drs., Lawyers, judges, police pretty much anyone of authority. they fool psychologists for Christ sake. blaming yourself is wasted emotion. its wasted time that could be spent on your healing. please dont do this to yourself. most of you probably didnt even know what a sociopath was so how were you to know any better? someone told you they loved you and that they would always be there for you then they betrayed you. PERIOD. they are the ones who hurt you did you intentionally hurt them? no. they did it. you’ve got to try and let this non truth go and move forward. you weren’t stupid or dumb or anything of the kind. you were trusting good women i know that much because ive spoken with most of you and feel i know you some what and i am here to tell you YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR SOMEONE ELSES ACTIONS. EVER. YOU DID NOTHING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN IT WASNT BECAUSE YOU BTCHED OR COMPLAINED IT WASNT BECAUSE YOU WERENT GOOD ENOUGH, IT WAS ALL BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE HAVE PERSONALITY DISORDERS. THEY ARE BROKEN PEOPLE WITH NO SOULS. please if your still blaming yourself really do some soul searching. because this is going to halt your healing process. i dont care if you turned into a raging bitch still not your fault because what made you a raging bitch??? their god damn actions thats what, not you. so come to grips with this once and for all because if you stay in this mind set your only hurting yourself with false delusions. please think about this its imperative to your healing that you get past this false belief. its just not the truth the truth is they did this to you, you didnt do it to them. put the blame where it belongs. ON THEM.
when you have gotten to this place, something in your life has gone terribly wrong. it is the universe trying to force you to awaken. you no longer can agree with the way things are going in your life. your restless, depressed, hyper vigilant and searching for an answer. this is your bodies way of telling you that the old way is not working. you must go deeply into your own soul to begin to heal. it is a spiritual awakening. if you don’t see this yet you may not be done learning your lessons in this life. if you do get this then please dig deep into your soul and heal yourself there is a whole new way of life just waiting for you to discover it. but if your not willing to listen and do the work don’t be shocked when nothing in your life ever changes or gets better. healing takes hard personal work if you don’t do the work you wont heal.
if your new or your missing the ex and he has a new supply, remember this; an abuser does not just leave you and stop abusing. this is something that just doesn’t stop, he/she will keep abusing. if it doesn’t seem like it remember they always start out love bombing someone first, its part of the abuse cycle. they cant help it they always re abuse, its who they are. so if your feeling bad and thinking you weren’t good enough the truth is you became too good for them. while your withdrawing from the relationship your going to feel terrible, this is a given. try to keep your thoughts on what is true not what your mind and body are telling you, because it wants a fix of the abuser and it wants it bad, just know this will pass if you keep no contact. it doesn’t happen over night, you didn’t get into this over night so its going to take time but once you get past this your going to feel so much better.