Did you believe you met your soulmate? the one who is your knight in shining armor? did he sweep you off your feet in a very short period of time, treat you like you were the most important person they had ever met? wanted to know every little secret you ever had, constantly asking you questions about yourself, finding out your inter most desires in life only to turn around over night and flip the script on you. every secret you ever told them in confidence will now be used against you in a smear campaign. the more you fight them the worst they will smear your good name. they turn into the enemy over night, cheating, lying, stealing and making up stories about you that portray you as the abuser and them as the victim. they almost always leave you for new supply. they get bored very easy and must constantly have there ego fed by the one closest to them and will discard you to find a better supply to meet these needs. and when they do so they will try to destroy you with lies and slander and the worst part is they are convincing to others that what they are saying about you is true. be silent during this time if people don’t understand then they are not your true friends, remove them from your lifeline you need only true loyal friends at this time if you are left alone with no friends after doing this that’s OK, you’ll make new friends slowly in the future when you start to live again. victims are left devastated and blaming themselves for the narcissists/sociopaths abuse, this is not your fault you have been assaulted by a sociopath / narcissist. educate yourself on trauma bonds and Stockholm syndrome, we have all been touched by a trauma bond and educating yourself about these two things will help you break the bond the sociopath / narcissist has over you. stop the cycle of abuse know that this relationship is never going to survive the damage done to it, it wont ever change and get better, they are simply not capable. sure they can write you promises and swear to you that they will change but it wont ever happen to anyone with anti social personality disorder. the sooner you can accept this fact the sooner you can work towards your healing and please for Gods sake put the blame where it is deserved, with the sociopath / narcissist, not with yourself because you didn’t see it coming. in no way are you responsible for the damage caused by a sociopath / narcissist. so get that thought out of your head, don’t confuse yourself more than your abuser already has.
did you see those eyes? when i met my sociopath in person i could not believe the intensity of his eyes. i would look in them and i was lost. ive never seen eyes like this before in my life it was like i was pulled to them. people are ( women ) always commenting on his pics about how intense his eyes , how sexy. it used to drive me nuts. when i found out he was a sociopath i looked at a picture of his eyes and saw something i had never seen before. pure evil. i wish i could put his picture here and show you but i wont do that. they say its very common in psychopaths to have that stare. ill never forget those eyes.
With a sociopath or narcissist if they are accusing you of cheating mark my words they are doing just that and they can do it but god forbid if you do it. Then you’re a whore. They do it because they can and for no other reason. Real life rules don’t apply to them. They have zero remorse and zero conscience and no empathy. Pretty much they are void and soulless. Sociopaths only love themselves but they are excellent actors and this will be the hardest thing to wrap your mind around. But it’s the absolute truth. They are attracted to your kindness, being naive and having a huge heart. They want to steal your empathy because they have none and feel none. They use people. They are liars cheats and thieves they have zero morals so when it comes to sex they do it with anyone it doesn’t matter who. Is it a set up? Yes. And it will destroy who you are inside you will be left with all the mess to clean up financially and other wise. They simply do not care about anything but themselves. The epitome of selfishness. Does it have anything to do with you or did you do something wrong???? Hell no. this is just the kind of people they are. They have a personality disorder and there is no cure. My advice to you is to move on. Run as fast as you can the other way and save yourself. I know I sound harsh and like I’m a hater which simply isn’t true, I loved my sociopath with all my heart but that didn’t do any good. They don’t ever change their ways and he will die doing the same old thing the only part you can change is who he does it with. Don’t let it be you and don’t ever think it was because of you. You didn’t make him this way and there is nothing you can do to help him. Walk away. No run!!!!!!
i have attracted these people all my life. it wasnt until i had been discarded by the love of my life, or the one i thought was, that i typed into my computer one night….warnings of online dating. i had met him here on the internet. there i saw the words in huge red letters on my screen, SOCIOPATH. my stomach did a flip and i threw up, i knew from that second on what had been happening in my life. i didnt know much about sociopaths but it took me back to when i was divorcing my first husband for cheating and lying and my mother had said to me, you understand he is a sociopath? this was before the internet and looking things up online. obviously then i didn’t understand what she met and history would repeat itself. i was in so much emotional pain i thought i was going to die. i needed to understand why this was happening to me. i became obsessed with researching the subject. the more i read the more i understood. this was a life altering moment in my life. there is no rule book we are given as young adults to learn about sociopaths or narcissism. this isn’t a topic they teach you about in school, although it should be. i spent a year in an online support group trying to unravel what had happened to me. i am so eternally great full for those people. they didn’t put me down for who i was they built me up for who i could be. all the damage that was done to me they helped me unravel. i started a small support group there and decided to move it to Facebook. its been five years and 13,600 members later in this group for survivors. i am no expert just a girl who has been there. someone who cares about others despite what was done to me. what a gift I’ve been given to watch others go from battered to healing. i can now pay it forward to others who are walking the same path as me and who have been down the dark road of sociopathy. if you have asked yourself why me and why is this happening to me just know its a secret gift from the universe to wake you up to the reality of who you are and who you need to become so this never happens to you again. if you don’t quiet yourself enough to listen to what the message is you will be sure to continue the abuse that comes from loving a sociopath. #stopthecycleofsociopathabuse
Don’t seek revenge on your ex sociopath the odds are it will blow up in your face and you will lose. if you have done your research you will find most back this up. you may think you can argue and win with a sociopath but you cant. they are master manipulators who don’t think they are doing anything wrong. their brains are wired differently and they will not let you have the last word. if your seeking revenge be ready to be hurt and destroyed more by them. the solution is to walk away and try to heal yourself and make a new life for just you. your not going to win so don’t bother….
when you feel like giving up, when life keeps throwing shit at you,,, don’t give up. that is when you are changing and growing into the new person you are going to become. through pain is when we grow so remember that when life is kicking your ass, don’t give up before the miracle happens !!! because it will happen !!!
why we go no contact ( that includes looking at his ( her) facebook or other account profiles…..the longer you go without seeing anything or information about what they are doing the better you will begin to heal. minutes turn into hours hours turn into days and days turn into weeks then months. the longer you go the better you start to feel. that second you decide to peak or send them a nasty msg, it sends you reeling backwards to the pain you felt that first day of no contact. i know i did it. i wish i could learn the lesson for all of you but i cant you’ll either do it or you wont. pay attention to how bad it makes you feel when you do, you just have to start over from the very beginning. and that really sucks. #starting over……getting them away from you is the best gift of freedom you can give yourself….
NO, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS
WE ARE STRANGERS WITH TWO
“I’m going to tell you what a demon once told me: It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. It’s okay to do what’s healthy for YOU. When someone hits you, it’s okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected. It’s okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say ‘That was shitty of you.’ You have a right to say ‘Let me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?’ You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.”